I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
