So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Mom said you looked used
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
