Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
