Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
