Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You're like the curious george of whores
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize