you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
