Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
