just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
