Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm always down for nudity.
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