Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
