Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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