how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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