He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
