Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
