it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She announced her abortion via fbk
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
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