I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
