Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
