I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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