I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
