Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
