is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
