This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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