Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize