its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
