You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Less talking, more tequila
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
