i need an iv and a liver transplant
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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