why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
