I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
