420 ftw
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
