I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
