I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
