Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
