doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
