Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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