Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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