he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
