So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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