How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
