Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize