I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize