i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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