I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
