Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
