So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
