why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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