just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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