It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
