I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
