Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
