I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dignity is for republicans.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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