You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
