reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
