In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
