I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
