haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
