that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
