Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
