the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
