Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just high enough for therapy.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize
