this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
i think my cat just said my name.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
