I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
