True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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