so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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