Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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