I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
