she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
