I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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