The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
