I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
