Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
