Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
