We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
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That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize