we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I can't put those talents on a resume
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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