Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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