love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
