Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
