I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize