so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
