Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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