a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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