I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I still have a little drunk in my system
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize