i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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