oh god the rape fog is back!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
