the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
