that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize